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Ordinary Workplace Hazards Or SHIELD and OSHA Aren't On Speaking Terms - scifigrl47 More Clint/Coulson than Tony/Steve, but there are yet more 'evolved' roombas. I want a hive of them. Badly.

Here's your quote for the day:

“Does it occur to you that if he set his mind to it, Steve could be a truly excellent supervillain?” Clint said into the comm unit, not bothering with any sort of segue. He knew very well who it was.

“We have a contingency plan in place for that,” Coulson said without missing a beat.

In the background, Steve said, “Wait, what?”

“Oh, c'mon.” Stark sounded seriously insulted. “If anyone here is going to go the black leather and weather control ray route, it's gonna be me, let's not even kid ourselves.”

“Every active SHIELD employee has a wallet card instructing them what to do in the event you go supervillain, Stark. It's standard equipment.”

A beat of silence. “What?” Tony asked.

“I got one,” Bruce said. “Want to see it?”

“If you show it to him, it'll defeat the purpose of having a plan,” Natasha said. “And I like this plan, it's a good plan, I do not want to go through them trying to come up with something else.”

“Yes, I want to see it,” Tony said. “Thor, did you get a card?”

“Verily. Their plan is most sound. I believe we will be able to subdue you with great swiftness, before you have much chance to hurt yourself or others. The damage to property will, of course, be massive, but such things are to be expected.”

“What the hell? You will not be able to subdue me quickly. Screw you, I am wily and brilliant.”

“I didn't get one,” Steve said, and there was a loud sound of no one being surprised.

“It's not a good idea to warn the bait that-” Clint started, and Coulson cut him off with ruthless efficiency.