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Marion Zimmer Bradley
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Boats in the Night - Josephine Myles This book reminded me of the Timotei commercials of yore. Of course, some dweeb has felt an urge to put those on youtube, so even if you did not live in Europe in the eighties, here is your chance to catch up:

There is a bit less sweeping of the long blond hair, of course, but the whole sweet, syrupy corny feel is there. This book is so mild you can wash your hair with it as often as you wish!

No seriously (I'll try, anyway), everything bad that happens to the MCs in this book is already in the past. Whatever residual issues they have from these past traumas get solved by meeting the right penis. Whatever internal conflict they manage to dredge up gets put to rest within a sentence or two. 'Oh noes, he had been afraid of topping a guy since his traumatic experiences 19 years ago..... okay,maybe it was time to let it go and try again'. 'Oh noes, Smutty didn't want to stay with him..... well, he'd better make the best of the time they had left then'. Personally, I think it is an authors job to make life hard for their characters, but that is just me. Giles threatens to fall again for his manipulative ex for all of 5 seconds. Even Giles' incipient alcoholism gets cured instantly by Smutty's date rape sob story.

Take a good look at these MCs and why they fall in love.... Giles is a doormat and has been without his lover of several years for all of four alcohol drenched weeks. Here comes Smutty with his weed salads and herbal teas and Giles is all ready to roll over and beg again. Smutty on the other hand falls in love with Giles-the-doormat because nobody has ever fallen in love with Smutty before. Can you spell c-o-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-c-y?

Add to this heady mix some stunning, stunning coincidences that would not out of place in an opera, to add some melodrama and there you have it: Boats in the Night. In which no boats actually move around on water. Let alone at night.