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Timing - Mary Calmes

I have a hangover. It's all Kate's fault.

 

** spoiler alert ** Kate and Lenalena read Timing on a Friday night.

Aug 30, 2013 04:33PM

Kate:
I'm going to start this @5:00pm PDT

Drinking game rules are in effect. Any time a drink is called for, please note it in the thread.

Kate:
Rules:

If one character hosts a TV show, take a drink.
If one character caresses another character's cheek, take a drink.
If they only just met and they're basically strangers, take two.
If there's an Hispanic best friend (m or f,) or best friend’s partner, take a drink.
If there’s a pregnant character, take a drink.
If there’s a birth, take a drink. If the MC is the birth partner for a pregnant character, take two.
Take a drink if someone is kidnapped.
Take one drink if the MCs name starts with a J.
Drink on each mention of the word “dessert,” or on consumption of a dessert (this includes pie).
If there’s a surgeon or doctor character who does not perform a medical procedure on the MC, take a drink. (If they’re a neurologist or neurosurgeon, take two.)
If the story mentions Chicago, take a drink. If the story is set in Chicago, take two.
One drink for each mention of a jazz club.
Every time you encounter waggled eyebrows, take a drink.
Take a drink if the MC entertains a small child. If they're 6 years old, everybody drinks.
When one MC dances with a woman, take a drink. If he dances with multiple women at a work event, or a partner's work event, take one drink for each dance partner.
Every time one MC calls the other “baby”, take a drink.
If there’s a festive family party or special occasion, take a drink.
Every time tongues are tangling, take a drink.
On the word “peacoat”: everybody drinks.
If someone makes a newspaper swan, take a drink.
One drink if there’s an ex-boyfriend who wants to get back with the MC (double if he’s batshit crazy).
One drink if one MC is/has been literally or effectively an orphan.

Lenalena:
I have the list printed. I am going to put on the rice. Then I am reading for 30 min. Then I need to cook dinner or I won't be able to anymore.

Lenalena:
And the MC sounds like a whiny child in the first sentence. Is that in the rules?

Lenalena:
Nope. But there is Chicago!

Kate:
I have to finish throwing together a salad and then I'm there.

Make them sips or we won't get through the damn book!

Lenalena:
Knox=Dane, obviously. There should be a drink for gorgeous secondary characters.

Lenalena:
Eyebrow waggle at 3%...

Kate:
Do we count this as set in Chicago? I don't think so. One drink.

Lenalena:
Yeah, I only took one. We arrive in Texas at 4%.

Lenalena:
7%. Another eyebrow waggle.

Lenalena:
Dancing with a woman @ 9%. Dinner may not happen...

Kate:
3% First eyebrow waggle.

Lenalena:
@.@ Stef is a total fucking Jory!

Kate:
@5 I'm snortlaughing over the description of Rand as some kind of mouthwatering vision of alpha male perfection. Subtle as a sledgehammer.

Kate:
Everybody loves Jory Steff. Except Rand (who we all know is secretly pining)

Lenalena:
Do we take separate drinks for separate wedding events, or do we call it just one big special gathering?

Kate:
Umm. How about big things only: stag party, rehearsal, wedding? Anything else is a baby sip.

Lenalena:
Waggle #3 @14.
I took one drink for the bit with the dancing, but not for the night on the town.

Lenalena:
The bachelor party was a non event. I did not drink for that one.

Kate:
I'm only at 13%. Rand is manhandling Steff. Apparently this is hot alpha behavior given all the readers who gasp and drool over him. *puzzled*

Lenalena:
Stefan is kicking a drunk dude's ass at 17. He is a tad alpha himself.

Kate:
One more "hafta" and Ima smack Steff. Or maybe Ms. Calmes.

Lenalena:
Let's not drink for the haftas. That would kill me.

Kate:
14% Oh god. More eyebrows.

Lenalena:
20. Does Stef have narcolepsy?

Kate:
I must be drunk. I'm falling for Stefan and his fabulosity. :D

Lenalena:
You are not, you traitor!

Kate:
SSSSSssssttttttteeeeeffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!


:D


Yes. I think narcolepsy is a distinct pissibility. (I left the spelling the way it started. Hah!)

Lenalena:
I am NOT reading this with you if you start drooling over Jory!

Pissibility indeed!

Lenalena:
23. Narcolepsy confirmed. Second nap of the day.

Kate:
*wheedles* Oh come on Marleen. Lemme. ALL the girls have crushes on him. *puppy eyes*

Kate:
He just threw the asshole cousin into the side of the garage. Awesome alpha Stef Jory.

Lenalena:
Fine, but then I am going to drool over Rand al Thor.

Kate:
:S


Okay fine. I'll stop.

Spoilsport.

Lenalena:
"and I knew from seeing him without a shirt many a time that his stomach, with its six pack abs, was a work of art"

Now why did I have the impression that Jory saw as little of Rand as possible? I def didn't get the impresseion that he'd seem him half naked lots and lots of times. He's been holding out on us!

Lenalena:
Maybe he is a nudist?

Kate:
Are you as bored with this as I am?

Nothing's happening.

Kate:
21% Is this the 3rd or the 4th time Stef has carried someone?

I get it. He's awesome and strong. Can we do something different now?

Lenalena:
Well there just was a low key murder attempt....

Lenalena:
26. Definitely narcolepsy. Or maybe he is pregnant?

Kate:
Calmes mpreg. I wants it!!

Lenalena:
Cody must have knocked him up last minute! The timing totally works. Which explains the title!

Excellent. I wonder if there was knotting....

Kate:
I'm going to totally go post this as a status update out there in the big GR world. Entertainment is good for everybody.

Lenalena:
Make sure you mention the narcolepsy as a alternate theory. But seriously, 3 naps a day sounds pregnant to me.

Kate:
It's obviously from carrying everyone around. Wears the poor boy out.

Lenalena:
Come on, he's alpha Jory, he can do a little carrying of people.

BTW, Stefan is effectively an orphan.... *gasp*

Gulp.

Kate:
I haven't had to drink in a long time. I've been wondering if I'm really in a Calmes book. Good to know we're on track.

Lenalena:
I think we should add arched eyebrows and hands in hair. That's five drinks right there.

Kate:
Along with the dozing off. We'd be plastered.

Ahhhhh. Stef hurt Rand's wittle feelings and he stormed out and slammed the door. So cute. *yawnz*

Lenalena:
I'd feel bad drinking to someone's narcolepsy...

Kate:
Is that half orphan or effectively full orphan? Good enough.

Drink.

Kate:
Uh oh. He's lethargic again. Drink---oops.

Lenalena:
36. Eyebrow arch.

Kate:
Not a waggle. Denied.

Lenalena:
The arches outnumber the waggles by now. I'm substituting arches for peacoats . My whisky is getting warm.

Kate:
First sex scene and it really makes no sense that these guys want to fuck each other. I am so so bored. So fricking bored. Not nearly enough drinking.

Lenalena:
I'm telling you, you need to add the arches! That's 5 drinks you missed.

Kate:
Okay. I'm counting arches. AND falling asleeps.

Lenalena:
And Rand touching Jory's hair.

Kate:
And Rand touching Stef's hair.

Lenalena:
Great minds...

Kate:
37% Fell asleep after sex. Understandable, but it counts.

Lenalena:
Ok, I'll drink to that!

Lenalena:
Rehearsal dinner, time for a refill.

Lenalena:
We could add drinks when Stef is a ninja?

Kate:
I ran out of the good beer. Switching to wine.

Lenalena:
Nothing worse than bad beer. I am continuing with the single malt.

Lenalena:
Chicago! Drink!

Lenalena:
Eyebrow waggle! 46

Lenalena:
Hand in hair. It's hitting hard and heavy now.

Kate:
Not there yet. I'll drink anyway.

Lenalena:
Aaaaand we have the first 'baby'. Not sure I can keep up with this.

Lenalena:
Immediately followed by another waggle. Calmest is trying to kill me.

Lenalena:
Cheek touching!

Kate:
Oh no. She was just luring us in with all that sleepy middle. Now she's going to kill us!

Lenalena:
Yeah, she made us add all of these rules because boring and now she's making a killing.

Lenalena:
Another Baby. *groan*

Kate:
*groan* Oh wow. I think we need to drop some of our extra rules or I'll never make it.

Kate:
47% Cheek stroking!

Lenalena:
So I can skip Stef being a ninja this time?

Kate:
No ninjas. My liver can't handle them.

Lenalena:
And skip the dozing?

Oh shit, I missed a dessert drink!

Hey, do cows giving birth count? The rules say 'if there is a birth', it doesn't specify species.

Kate:
I'll ask Emma via status.

Lenalena:
Please! We need expert advice.

Kate:
Let's defer that drink. Maybe it won't happen. Onwards!

Lenalena:
It did. Stef was birth partner to a cow. There are two drinks riding on this.

Lenalena:
More people carrying...

Lenalena:
Eyebrow arch. We nixed those, yeah?

Lenalena:
Oh god.... A waggle.

Kate:
So what are the odds you could kill someone by stabbing him in the throat, have your roommate raped and murdered and NOT end up in a big legal brouhaha that everyone would know about, esp. family? I say zero.

Lenalena:
You're missing the point. Stef = ninja.

Kate:
No arches, but all waggles count.

Stef is an awesome ninja. I can still complain about teh stupid. Is my job!

Lenalena:
Fine. As long as I don't have to drink for teh stupid. Cause that'd be bad for my health.

Kate:
This is already bad for our health.

Lenalena:
No kidding. I am about to doze off in a haze of alcohol.

Kate:
Gahhh! More sleepiness. Are we counting those? I've lost track.

Lenalena:
No!

I didn't count that. Drunk enough as it is.

Lenalena:
More dancing with wimenz.

Lenalena:
Waggle-waggle

Kate:
I've lost track of the peach cobbler thingies. It's been mentioned at least 4 times. Crap. I have to catch up.

Lenalena:
Fuck I forgot to drink for those! Please don't make me, my vision is already blurry.

Kate:
You're grandfathered. No retroactive drinks!

Kate:
Did you drink for the wedding? I suppose it's only one...*groan*

Lenalena:
Thank fuck.

Does that mean we are not going back for the cow birth either?

Lenalena:
I did drink for the wedding party. And the dancing. And the waggling.

Lenalena:
Baby....

Kate:
No answer from Emma on either of our statuses. I vote no drink.

Lenalena:
Ice cream counts as dessert, right?


Kate:
Another Chicago. Shit. And yes, ice cream is dessert. :(

Kate:
This is the stupidest plot Calmes has ever come up with. Even drunk it makes no sense.

Lenalena:
There is plot? *peers fuzzily*

I thought it was just a wedding and fucking.

Kate:
And shooting little old ladies and Jory.

Lots of male rooster crowing, too. I don't even care what happens in the last 20%. I'm skimming as hard as possible.

Kate:
Oh god no! Not another cheesy family gathering.

Lenalena:
It gets better

Kate:
LenaLena wrote: "It gets better"

Emma should add a rule for whoever-Jory being TSTL.

Kate:
Kidnapping! Yes!! I've been waiting and waiting. It's a Calmes staple.

Lenalena:
You're overtaking me. I don't think you're giving this the attention it deserves.

Kate:
:S

I'm still trying to figure out why you need to buy multiple ranches to build a megastore...or even a whole mall.

Also the plot is getting stupider and more unbelievable. If that's possible.

Lenalena:
What is stupid is that she tacked on a plot at all.

Kate:
True dat.

Kate:
More Chicago.

I quit. I give up. I refuse.

Lenalena:
It was perfectly fine with just marrying and fucking.

Lenalena:
You can't. Only 7 minutes to go!

Kate:
Oh very well. But no more drinking.

Lenalena:
OH! OH! THE SAP! I'M DROWNING!

Kate:
LMAO. Phil went to the petting zoo. Hah!

Lenalena:
Done! Thank fuck.

Kate:
At least it ended with his fluttering passage. :S

Kate:
Hey. No peacoat.

Lenalena:
Fluttering passage? Missed that. Skimming too hard.

Lenalena:
No children either. Thank God.

I am so going to bed now. We can recap in the morning.

Aug 30, 2013 11:05PM